Life’s worries.
So I decided to quit my job nine weeks ago. This is the last weekend before I have to actually tell my employer I’m quitting. I’m scared shitless. I feel like an idiot leaving a well paying job in my field when the economy and unemployment is like it is. Whether I quit or not I’d have to get another job because there isn’t any work for four months. I think thats my biggest fear, getting another job but I’m going to have to anyway. Hopefully once I find another job it’ll make it easier to quit. I know I’m going to miss it. It’s so scary because this is the first time I’ve ever done something without having something else lined up. I have ideas and I’ve applied to atleast thirty places but I don’t have another job yet. I’ve pretty much decided on going to bartending school and it sounds fun but what if I don’t like it? What if I don’t like staying up til all hours every night? What if I get tired of the party scene (which I kind of am already). I guess I don’t have to be a bartender at a club, I can work at a restaurant but I just need to be able to make good money. I’ve been thinking a lot about moving but I feel like i’ll be more unhappy if I do. I won’t be as financially strapped but I’ll have to make friends all over again. I don’t want to go through that awkwardness again of meeting new people. I’m happy (sort of) in south florida, and I’m comfortable. I’m hoping that a new job will introduce me to new people and i’ll have sort of a new start. I’ll be home and I’ll be able to have a normal life and be able to go out. For the last four years I have been home for no more than 4 straight months a year. I am so ready for this to be over but I’m scared to leave the money. I know my happiness is more important but I don’t know if I can make comperable money. I know what I want to do, I’m just afraid to actually do it.
In guy news. I have given up on Nick. We hung out on St. Pat’s day and things were amazing, the best they’ve ever been. I ended up staying the night but nothing happened, just lots of making out. Nothing past second base. He’s a really nice guy but the fact that we only speak once a week makes me think he doesn’t want a relationship and I’d rather get out before I get attached to yet another guy who doesn’t want to be my boyfriend. I have a new mentality: if a guy wants to date me, he’ll make it happen and if he doesn’t i’m not going to stress about it. Calling him and forcing him to be nice to me or talk to me if he doesn’t necessarily want to doesn’t do anything but satisfy me for the second. Later on, when I realize he doesn’t want a relationship I kick myself for pursing things. I’d really love for things to progress with us but I think i’ve realized he’s got too much going on in his life to add me to the equasion. If he does, he’ll make it happen.
B said,
April 1, 2009 at 1:05 pm
As scary as it is to quit a job without having another one, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to make yourself happy. I almost quit my job because my boss was an asshole, but thankfully he ended up leaving the company. I am still bored to death and hate my job, but it is a lot less stressful with him gone. But, i was inches away from just up and quitting.
I have also been battling with myself about relocating. I had my mind all made up and then i started freaking out about the money it would cost and leaving everyone I love and having to start over at 30. I finally have a great group of friends and i’m not sure i can leave that and start over.
As far a Nick, you should never have to do all the chasing! I gave up on my N. because I felt like i was making a fool of myself always chasing after him. I didn’t even really like him for anything besides the physical. I’ve now started dating someone who puts for the effort to talk to or be with me and it is a nice change. Not sure where it will go, but there are nice guys out there. You just have to look really hard!
flowwolf said,
April 1, 2009 at 4:42 pm
It’s funny how similar our lives are! I don’t really know what I’m going to do about Nick. I think I’m going to call him and if that doesn’t result in anything I’m not going to try anymore. It just sucks being single and never finding anyone that works out.
emotionallychallenged said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:56 pm
we do have a lot in common! not sure if you called Nick yet, but don’t. If it hasn’t gone anywhere yet, it probably isn’t going anywhere (i know that sucks to hear). That is the conclusion I have come up with many times. You can’t force something to happen. I’ve been having a great dating situation lately and now i’m afraid i’m messing it up because i’m “psycho texter tina”. i have a bad habit of texting and then continually texting if i don’t hear anything back. i’m trying to rush the process and make things develop faster than they should when they are really developing fine on their own. seeing someone 1x a week in the first couple weeks is normal; it doesn’t mean it isn’t going anywhere…..that is what I have to keep telling myself. But, now I’m going to try not to contact TI. until I hear from him. I sent him a text telling him i was sorry my paranoia was getting the best of me and could we please just start over (then to throw in some humor, i said i promise i’d be normal this time…at least as normal as i can be). hopefully he’ll respond at some point but i’m going to try to keep myself busy this weekend and if i don’t hear from him (which i already know he has a busy weekend), i’m not going to automatically assume he lost interest. (that will be the hardest part!)
hang in there! there are a lot of us single, frustrated girls out there.